Observational Sandwich-Related Humor

Why is the BLT the only sandwich that features the condiments in the name of it? Isn’t it really a just a bacon sandwich that has the same sorts of things that you’d expect on pretty much any sandwich? If you ordered a hamburger and it came with lettuce and tomato on it, you wouldn’t think, “Wait a second, I ordered a hamburger, not an HLT!” you’d think something like, “Oh, my hamburger’s here. I am going to eat the holy living fuck out of this.” My point is, lettuce and tomato are expected. If you created a hamburger and it had a hamburger patty, lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, cheese, ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise on it, you wouldn’t call it a HLTOPCRKMM for three reasons. 1. It’s already called a “cheeseburger.” 2. That’s a lot of goddamn letters, nobody will remember all those. 3. What does the “R” even stand for? There’s not even anything that starts with an R in there. Nice try, Burger Chef.

Million Dollar Fish-Out-of-Water Movie Ideas

Fish Out Of Water - In Another Dimension

Matt Crowder is a cartoonist with dreams of making it big. One day, he finds a magic pen that gives him the ability to travel to another dimension. He ends up in a strange land where everything is exactly the same as it is on Earth, except the words “butterfly” and “haircut” have reversed meanings. Here’s a scene…

Dave (a resident of the alternate-dimension earth): Check out all those beautiful haircuts!
Matt: I don’t follow you.

Fish Out of Water - In Space

Fender Wilton is a jam band roadie with dreams of making it big. One day, he gets high and wanders into a top-secret NASA spaceship, falls asleep and wakes up on Planet Zqqqqqqqz-9. It’s exactly like Earth, except way more science-fictionlike. Let's watch...

Q’XXZ (the president of Planet Zqqqqqqqz-9): Looks like you win, Fender.
Fender: Now I’m the president! You guys totally suck at Scrabble!

Fist out of Water – (Super Shocking M. Night Shyamalan Ending)

Paul Spaldeen is a Pop-a-Shot repairman with dreams of making it big. One day, he falls over Niagara Falls or something and he ends up in the most magical, most peaceful water land you guys could ever think of. Towards the end of the movie, he leans down to take a calm, refreshing drink of the water and *****SPOILER ALERT***** a fist comes out and hits him.
The End.
Or is it????