What’s up Chipotle’s ass?

Chipotle (the burrito place) loves to promote itself as a “customer-friendly” sort of place where the customer can have whatever he wants. “You call the shots, my main man,” they say. “Why don’t you climb up on Chipotle’s lap and tell him all about what you want on your burrito. Have you been a good boy all year? Ho ho ho!”
What a crock of mierda. I have never once told the burrito-barista people, “Hey, make it so the first three or four bites are entirely rice,” or “I only want sour cream on the last mouthful,” or “Make it so I can barely tell that there’s cheese on my burrito, because its placement makes it indistinguishable from the tortilla.”

Come on, Chipotle. Would it kill you get off your high horse and just mix all the stuff together, for crying out loud? It’s not hard, you know. It’s not like you don’t have bowls. Because, I mean, get real! Man alive, you guys. Get over yourselves.